He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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