college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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