mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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