she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
