I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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