Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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