Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Congratulations! We have a period
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