IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
