I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My hand turned me down
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize