i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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