For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
