The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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