come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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