So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize