Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
