I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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