this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize