I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
