So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
