their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
