i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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