What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
