"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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