We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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