he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
