Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
