I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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