I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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