You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
