How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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