Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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