I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
