Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
