that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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