I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
