it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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