but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
