haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
