I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
