Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
