He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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