He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
