I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
