i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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