i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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