guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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