I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
