You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
