im drinking this country out of the recession.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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