I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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