You smell like stripper and shame
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
