That reminds me...we need to get swords
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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