i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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