i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
