eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
