My room smells like vodka and shame
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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