why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
