I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I am morally bankrupt
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
