I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
