There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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