she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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