I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
