i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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