she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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