i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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