Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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