I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
